Gas Pump

On the way home from the Christmas Party on Saturday, I stopped to get gas, and when I got out of the car I had my debit card in hand, ready to slide it in. Weird thing was, although this gas station didn't look like it was from the 70's, the gas pumps just seemed a little old. There was no pay at the pump thing, and like for 30 seconds I was so confused. I didn't know what to do. It's weird, it's like I couldn;t remember what you were supposed to do at these kind of places. So I headed for the door to go pay, but then thought I don't know how much it's going to take to fill it up, so I turned and went back to the pump and started pumping the gas, then it all came back to me. Pump the gas. Pay for the gas.

Oklahoma

I went to Oklahoma this weekend for a Family Christmas get together type thing. My two friends, mother and myself dressed up like nuns and did a little show to the "Sister Act" sound track. We had a lot of fun. We each had our own Nun names, There was Sister Mary Clarence, Sister Mary G, Sister Mary Agnes, and of course I was Sister Mary Christmas. (hee,hee) I thought I was pretty funny, but the old people there didn't seem to get it at all. When I would introduce myself as Sister Mary Christmas, they would look at me funny than so "thank you, Merry Christmas to you too" I would smile and move along. Anyway, my brother put together a great slideshow of family pictures for my Grandma, the whole thing was a surprise to her. We ate great food, my relatives can really cook! Then we played cards, a game called Nertz, that my brother taught everyone. Then we played a little basketball. I talked to my aunt for a while, which was really good as usual, and we decided we should get together more, which we always say and never do. So I decided thatI have to make the effort and make sure we do, and I'm gonna.

Because Eddo Said So....

A) First, recommend each of the following to me:
1. a movie.
2. a book.
3. a musical artist, song, or album.

B) Ask me three questions—no more, no less.Ask me anything you want.

C) Go to your blog (if you have one), copy and paste this, and allow everyone to ask you anything.

Power of Positive Thinking....

The power of positive thinking, how well do you think it works? I only ask because I am going to try a little more of it. I've been down in the dumps some lately, I know you get tired of hearing about it. So, I'm not gonna write about it, I'm gonna start thinking more positively. So positively spekaing, today has it's good qualities. I've talked to three of my good friends today, and the weather isn't too bad. Work has been uneventful, and not too stressful. I got two Christmas gifts - a board game (Scene it?) and a cordless screwdriver (from my boss, she knows me so well). I am having a tremendously good hair day, I only say tremendously good cuz it's been so bad lately, I have been hating it passionately, biut today it's not so bad, so if you look at the past couple of weeks, today it looks amazing. I know that sounds conceited, but I was told by a friend of mine this weekend, that even if you don't like yourself, at least pretend.....which I thought was great advice. Of course, I like myself, I really do, those of you that know me, really know how much that is true. I think I'm pretty great, and if you don't think so.......don't tell me, I really don't wanta know. Just kidding, you can tell me, (if you want a black eye!)

Have you ever heard a dream.....

Have you ever heard a dream talking? well I did. Have you ever seen a dream walking? well I did. I remember that song from a movie I saw a long time agao. The movie was called 'The Lady in White". Don't know why I thought of it all of the sudden. I guess it was because I think I have seen a dream walking......my dream anyways......there's one that occasionally walks right in front of me, and I want to reach out and touch it, and others seem to be too far out of reach. It isn't fair, being allowed to dream at night, to day dream, to have dreams like goal type dreams, all of it is a big bunch of crap. I mean seriously - it's amazing to wake up from a beautiful dream, but it's so disappointing to find out it's not real. It's just as bad when you have a bad dream, but you find relief when you wake up and it's not real. Day dreams are just make believe, and they can only take you so far. Dreams, life dreams, you know, are the only real dreams. Problem is that there are so many emotions tied into them. With mine comes frustration, fear, some resentment I must admit, anxiety, desire, some strength, but more than anything else I am experiencing pain. Mental and emotional pain. I don't know how to explain it, but it's the strongest feeling in me lately. You know as well as I do that.....This too shall pass.

New Friends vs. Old Friends

It's not a battle, I promise. I'm not gonna set up an arena and have the new friends do gladiator type events against the old friends. That wouldn't be very nice, but it sure would be fun to watch. Hee hee, I can just see it, grasshopper with one of those big clubs fighting agianst Candace and Lucky Lucy fighting for King of the cage.....against Ranell....that'd be great! I wonder who would win. Both of them seem to have a lot of fight in them, I don't wanta get in the cage with either one (only cuz I don't want to hurt them, not cuz I'm scared, LOL) Okay - no battles.....

I have made some new friends lately, one in particular, that is quickly becoming a very good friend, I haven't got a blog name for her yet though, I'll ask, if she doesn't pick one, I'll call her Minnie Mouse.......hee,hee. (When I say new vs. old, new are the friends I've made within the last year, old are the friends I've had for years). Had to clear that up for you, I know you were wondering. I LOVE, I mean completely and totally adore meeting new people and making new friends. Thing is, I LOVE and adore my old friends too...this is all a good thing, I know, but I have this problem, I want to do everything with everyone and it's hard.......I found that I have been doing lots of things, accomplishing nothing, and never save time to do the things I need to do. So, here's what I'm gonna do......I say we make everyone submit their ideas, things they wanta do, and I'll prioritize them in order of fun, then in order of cost, and then in order of what clothes I would wear doing each of these things. I'll pick the top five, then put them in a hat and draw them out one at a time. We'll set aside a time limit for each event, and take everyone who wants to go.....how's that sound? Okay, I know, I know, it won't work, cuz Sam (that's me) can't stick to a time limit, I'll be like.....Oh come on, we'll go in five minutes, Oh we can stay another 10 minutes......ooops (looks at watch) An hour has past since I was supposed to be gone.....it's bad. When I'm having fun with any of you people (old and new friends alike) I just never want it to end.....I love you all too much.

Self Preservation

This is a new concept to me, self preservation, one I thought of just today. I was painting and thinking. Thinking about my friendships, and who and what is good or bad for me. I realize that there are people in my life who are not necessarily good for me. It's not that I'm easily persuaded or think I give in to peer pressure or anything like that. The question is..."Are they good for me?" You know some people just seem to really tear you down, bring you down to their level rather than you pulling them up to your level. Not that I think I'm at a higher level than anyone, just sometimes I have a more positive outlook on life and people than some others do, and I let people be negative around me, and sometimes I let it get to me. That's their perogative, to be negative if they want, but I don't have to let it affect me. I'm usually very naturally forgiving, loving, and helpful. It's a part of my make up, so sometimes it's hard for me to see when I am being taken advantage of, or used, or whatever.....people try to point it out to me, and I usually end up defending the person that is not good for me. I'm analyzing it though, analyzing my friendships and deciding to be around the people that are more positive and that I respect. I remember hearing once that you should always hang around with the people you want to be most like. I guess I need to find more of those people. I'm growing and learning in a lot of areas of my life, but in others I'm kind of at a stand still, and still others, I have taken a few steps backwards. I know I have not focused like I need to in the past six months or so, it's weird, I've kind of felt like I've been watching my life from outside of my body, and I haven't been very happy, and you know me, I'm usually very happy.....smiling, It's like my trademark. For some reason my smile has faded a little lately, but I will find it again. I have prayed that God will give me my joy back, I know He will, and I know He will show me what I need to do in my life in order to get it back. So self preservation, it sounds a little sad to me, it sounds like selfish thinking or......being guarded, putting walls up and such. I don't want to do that. So pray for me, pray for my joy, pray for my heart, and pray that I will find a way to allow God to guard my heart instead of me hiding my heart for fear of being hurt.