Self Preservation

This is a new concept to me, self preservation, one I thought of just today. I was painting and thinking. Thinking about my friendships, and who and what is good or bad for me. I realize that there are people in my life who are not necessarily good for me. It's not that I'm easily persuaded or think I give in to peer pressure or anything like that. The question is..."Are they good for me?" You know some people just seem to really tear you down, bring you down to their level rather than you pulling them up to your level. Not that I think I'm at a higher level than anyone, just sometimes I have a more positive outlook on life and people than some others do, and I let people be negative around me, and sometimes I let it get to me. That's their perogative, to be negative if they want, but I don't have to let it affect me. I'm usually very naturally forgiving, loving, and helpful. It's a part of my make up, so sometimes it's hard for me to see when I am being taken advantage of, or used, or whatever.....people try to point it out to me, and I usually end up defending the person that is not good for me. I'm analyzing it though, analyzing my friendships and deciding to be around the people that are more positive and that I respect. I remember hearing once that you should always hang around with the people you want to be most like. I guess I need to find more of those people. I'm growing and learning in a lot of areas of my life, but in others I'm kind of at a stand still, and still others, I have taken a few steps backwards. I know I have not focused like I need to in the past six months or so, it's weird, I've kind of felt like I've been watching my life from outside of my body, and I haven't been very happy, and you know me, I'm usually very happy.....smiling, It's like my trademark. For some reason my smile has faded a little lately, but I will find it again. I have prayed that God will give me my joy back, I know He will, and I know He will show me what I need to do in my life in order to get it back. So self preservation, it sounds a little sad to me, it sounds like selfish thinking or......being guarded, putting walls up and such. I don't want to do that. So pray for me, pray for my joy, pray for my heart, and pray that I will find a way to allow God to guard my heart instead of me hiding my heart for fear of being hurt.