Wishy Washy

I was told this week that I was wishy washy, and so I've analyzed, searched, and knocked it around a little to decide just how I felt about this. I have come to the conclusion that perhaps I am. I should say, I was. Because I'm turning over a new leaf. A new leaf you say? hmm...yes, that's what I said.....a new leaf. Why in the world do you think they call it a new "leaf"? Oh, that's beside the point, back to my wishy washiness. I never really felt like I was wishy washy, but now that I am no longer in denial...here I go.....My name is Samantha and I'm a wishy washaholic. Can anyone out there relate??? I really just try to make decisions based on what I want and what everyone else around me wants.....does that really make me wishy washy? Does it? Just because I change my mind 20 times, isn't that my perogative? Isn't it? Just because I think I can please all the people all the time.....does that make me so bad? does it? OKAY...I get it, it's time to grow up. I told myself this week, that I have to do it some time, so the time is now. I can't keep dodging conflict, saying yes to not upset people, doing what I don't want to do just to make others happy, not making decisions for fear that someone will think it's the wrong one, not saying whats on my mind for fear that you might disagree....I know, I know, It's crazy, pure craziness. I'm not wishy washy, I'm just insane. No, for real, I'm thirty years old, and have not ever planted my feet and stood my ground based on what I wanted as an individual. I can't help it, but I think about how what I do will or might affect others around me, everyone around me. I can't keep living my life this way. It's not fair to all of you. So - I'm starting a twelve step program (not really, it may only be 3 or 4 steps, we'll see). I've taken the first step and admitted I have a problem. The second step is identifying the steps I am going to take to overcome it, which I think mainly, is being honest, with myself and those around me, and stop worrying so much. The third step is to just do it.....so, next time I see you and your hair looks bad, expect the truth, don't be offended, just realize it's part of my 3 step program (I only have three steps so far, I'll add more if I figure it out) . If your clothes are tacky, and if you have a feeling you don't look so great, don't ask me, and if you do, expect the truth. I'm gonna do my best to follow my newly developed Three Step Progam "Wash that Wishy Wahiness Away" and if you want to join my support group, just give me a call at 1-800-washout.....(hee,hee)

Grasshopper II

Okay, first the title, Grasshopper II, doesn't mean there are two of them, only one friend is called grashopper, it is like the movies, a sequel, part 2, or just another blog about my friend who shall be called "grasshopper". I spoke to grasshopper briefly today and she still sounds like she needs to eat Oreos, not that she hasn't eaten any cuz I saw some in her house, perhaps though, she hasn't eaten them. In fact, now that I think about it, they are the Oreos I bought her many weeks ago, when I first I decided that Oreos were the answer. Now, I ask you, if you were feeling a little down, and your friend, namely me, bought you Oreoa, and you, in fact, liked Oreos, wouldn't you eat them???? I would, I mean if you bought them for me, I wouldn't even have to be feeling low. Oh, stop, wait a minute, dad gummit Samantha, you weren't writing about you....this is supposed to be about grasshopper. (sometimes I talk to myself, it helps with the dramatics)

Okay, grasshopper is the coolest, she went with me the other night to find parts for my engineering project, yeah that's right, the stupid voting machine, anyway, we went to Lowe's and found all kinds of cool stuff, she had the coolest ideas, she's really smart. We didn't spend a lot of money, but got really useful things, and I think we will end up using them all. Then she found some furniture patterns, like build your own furniture and stuff, I think we're gonna do that, build some Adirondack chairs, (if you want some let me know....maybe we can hook you up) and my other friend, we'll call her C for now, wants to build a hutch, and paint it red (I don't know about a red hutch, but it's not my house) so I'm gonna do that with her too. I'm excited.

Oh, anyway, grasshopper and I then went to the "Dollar Store". I was looking for thos chinese ergonomic balls that you roll around in your hand. She walked right in, turned left, looked down, and said "pay dirt" there they were, sittin all pretty, waiting for me to buy 'em. So I did, I bought four sets, and they are working out quite nicely with my project. Cool thing was I said how much are those, the dude said "one dolla", I said what about those, he said "one dolla" then I said what about them over there, and he said "one dolla" I was like 'this is so cool!', so I went down the isle pointing at everything and asking "and that?" and "this?" he kept saying "one dolla" "one dolla". I am so LYING!! I promise I didn't do that. I only asked once, okay twice, how much the stupid balls were, and only asked the second time cuz I didn't hear him the first time.

So my friend, grasshopper, seemed happier than I had seen her in a while, or so I thought, I realize though that I never can tell. She's really cool, I can talk to her about the weirdest stuff, and she can hang with me, she can always follow my thought process, but I tell you, I can't always follow hers, wish I could, but I can't. It's okay though, I love her to death..........Ever seen Pinky and the brain? She's like the brain....all focused and stuff, course he wants to destroy the world, she's not like that, but she's focused, and serious, I'm not saying I'm like pinky, okay maybe a little...like how he always says "what are we gonna do today?" So, what are we gonna do today? seriously, what?

The Project

School is going very well thus far....with one exception, ok two excceptions....first i dropped my Cal III class. I wasn't doing to well in it. Secondly, it's my project group, which is what I wanted to write about. We have to build a "Rube Goldberg" voting machine, which is a machine that will cast a ballot in 20 or more steps, it is a contest to see who can build the zaniest machine. Sounds like a fun project doesn't it? Well, it's not. One of our group members has never shown up for the meetings. The other two always show up, but we never accomplish anything....they just want to talk and talk and talk.....it's frustrating, it makes me want to rip my arm off and beat them with it....okay that's a little violent, and so not really the truth, but it is frustrating. It makes me wonder though how much of real engineering projects are going to be like this. I'm definitely not down on men, or trying to bash them, but these two guys are really hard to work with, and the engineer that I worked for, that short while, was just like them. They think they know everything and don't want to listen to other peoples ideas....I think I'll start an all woman engineering company...think that would go over well?